Sad, sad, sad, sad. Why must I be sad?

Why is it that I hardly ever feel in the writing mood when things are going good for me or when I am happy? I only write when I am sad, hurt, mad, angry. There is a continuing joke with one of my friends at work. He once said that I was "abrasive", so now anytime I (or anyone else for that matter) get ornery or mean either he or I make a joke about being "abrasive", then we both have a good laugh. I guess that things aren't really going that bad for me now that I think about it. I just tend to focus on the negative and inoptimal. I don't think that that makes me a bad person. I mean, it might make me less enjoyable to associate with, but that is different. I do try to be happy and most of the time I am- on the outside anyway. But, isn't it better to put on a big show than to draw everyone's attention to you by acting the way you feel? Abraham Lincoln once said, "If what I feel were equally distributed to the whole human family, there would not be one cheerful face on the earth." I am not that bad, but in moments of deep contemplation I do feel somewhat melancholy. I wish that I could tell people everything about me, but, alas, I cannot. I do not want to be that vulnerable. I think I would be judged left and right and that it would definitely have a negative effect on me. I do know, however, that I could tell my closest friends and loved ones everything about me and they would still love me because the things that I would tell them wouldn't change who I am. I would still be the same Blake I was before I poured my heart out to them and that is somewhat comforting...