Tuesday, April 27, 2010

My Love Has Gone Away

It's only been four days since my love has gone away.
And it feels like it has already been forever and a day.
My emotions run strong and I can't keep them at bay!
This heart still aches, but it will become easier I pray.

How can I live happily when my heart is now so empty?
The one who taught me how to love isn't here to love me.
It's like I have lost the best part of my world so suddenly.
I'm left here to survive without the one who makes me happy.

I'd give you anything you wanted if you would just come home.
I don't want to be so sad away from you, but I feel so alone!
And I know it upsets you that tears are something prone
To happen, but I don't have a heart that's made of stone.

Do you hate me when I say hurtful things because I don't see?
Like when I think you don't hurt inside being away from me?
I know I can be selfish and not consider what your feelings may be.
But, I hope you still remember that I will love you, dear, eternally.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

What to do...

So, in a few days the love of my life is going away to Washington D.C. for 3 and a half months and letting him go is turning out to be the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I was telling one friend the other day that I think it's partially because it took me so very long to find love that it's hard to let it go. He is everything good in my life and thinking of being away from him for that long brings tears to my eyes everytime. I don't know what I am going to do without him near me!

OK, it's a few days later and my honey has been gone for over 24 hours (29 hours to be exact) and I have to admit, I am doing better than I thought. I am not constantly crying (just every so often for a few minutes), I am not constantly thinking about him being away (when I do that is usually what starts the crying), and I'm starting to think I can make it through this ordeal without having a nervous/emotional breakdown...

One thing that will help me is to keep busy, so if any of my friends are reading this and feel like giving a friend some support, please feel free to call me and get me doing something! I know that I will have days and times when I just want to be left alone and will need time to think about my Randal every once in a while; I'll need time to cry and mope and have a nice, little pity party, but I will try to limit those times (It's what Randal would want me to do and it would make him happy knowing that I'm not constantly sad over his absence). Anyway, I'm going to end this now and maybe I'll write again next time I feel the need or desire to.