Tuesday, June 22, 2010

so soon I can...taste it?

So, I get to fly out east and see my boyfriend in about a week! I AM SO FREAKIN' EXCITED!!! We already have some really fun things planned to do. But, what I am really excited about is getting to hold him again, see him again, kiss him again, talk to him face to face again, touch him again, and, yes, make love to him again! Lately, I have been missing him ALOT! There have been times lately where I wish he were he so he could hold me and make me feel better and make me feel like everything was ok or would be ok.
Today I said something stupid. I was being petty and said that he didn't care about me... I know for a fact that he does care about me, so why would I say that he doesn't? That is a very good question. I don't have a good answer for you. We talked it out and are back on the same picture, but I still feel that I don't deserve him. He is too good for me! Too kind, too loving, too patient, too understanding, too good! He thinks the same about me, so I guess we will have to try to convince the other person of what we see in each other :)

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Desperately wanting...

Somehow I got off schedule with my blogging and I haven't be able to get back to it. I really don't care because I don't think anyone reads my blogs except for the person that they are intended for, and I don't even think that he reads them as much as I would like for him to. And he hardly ever leaves comments...that's a hint, honey- just in case you didn't figure that out.

Over the past few days I have been missing my boyfriend a lot more than normal. We talked yesterday for a bit and I started crying, which I haven't done with him for a long time. It has just been so hard for me being away from him and in some ways I hope he knows, but in other ways I hope he doesn't know- he tends to worry about me when he knows I'm sad and missing him or when I'm sad and he can't be with me, both of which are occurring right now. I can't wait until I get to be with him again in a few weeks! But, I still absolutely HATE, HATE, HATE, that our separation is still only half over! I still have to wait until August 7th until I will get to be with him for more than a few days... IT SUCKS! Don't get me wrong, it will be so wonderful to get to see him in a few weeks, but it's only going to be for 4 days and then I have to say good bye to him again for 4 weeks! I truly and whole-heartedly HATE IT!!! I'm getting anxious and impatient and I want him back already!

School is going OK. I'm doing really well in my Interpersonal Relationships class, but not so well in my Learning, Memory and Cognition class. We got our tests back on Saturday and I only got an 84% on my test! Next Saturday my group has to do our presentation and I thought that it was still 2 weeks away! Ahhhh! It's times like these, when I'm stressed and things are tough, that I wish my boyfriend were around...

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Busy

Lately I've been more busy than usual and more than I prefer. This last week I had work and homework and a test and going to the airport (twice!) and studying and I still have to study more this weekend for a test tomorrow! I did get a bit of a break though, but I'll get to that.
So, on Monday I took my friend Shane to the airport and I picked him up yesterday, but let me start at the beginning of my day. Friday night I stayed up until about 2am doing homework and studying for my Saturday morning test in my Learning and Cognition class and I think I did pretty well, but I hadn't finished all of my homework that was due. However, my professor told me that if I could finish my homework and email it to him before our regularly scheduled class period was over that he would give me full credit. So, I had to rush home and finish my homework, which I barely sent him on time. After that I finally had my first meal of the day, then it was time to pick up Shane from the airport. After I grabbed him we went back to Camp Williams so he could drop off his stuff, then we went for a walk on the Jordan River trail, which lasted about an hour. I came home, showered, and got ready to go to my friend, Brent's party. That started out kind of awkwardly because I am a very timid/shy guy. I don't readily make friends! It is difficult for me to just walk up to people and start talking to them. Sometimes I will be a bit brave and stand near people until they acknowledge me and kind of unofficially invite me into their conversation, but that is the most I can do without almost having a nervous breakdown...
The latter half of the party I ended up getting into a conversation with a few guys and from then on I really enjoyed myself! Kyle and Nick are pretty cool guys and I enjoyed my conversation with them, a lot. The worst part of the night was that there were a lot of gay couples there and it made me really, really miss my boyfriend! There were guys grabbing and cuddling with their boyfriends and I seriously wished mine had been there too! It would have been nice to just cuddle on a couch or sit on a couch holding hands...
Gay Pride is going one this weekend and I have some friends that are going up today and I'm still thinking about going. I do have to study for a test I have tomorrow, but I think it shouldn't take too long. The main reason I am still thinking about going is because my boyfriend told me he would be busy all day and doesn't know if he'll be able to talk today, so what's the point of me just sitting around the house? I was busy all day yesterday, so we didn't get to talk and he thinks we might not get to talk tonight, so that would make a while since we talked. I do hope we get to talk today. I texted him about an hour ago and he hasn't gotten back to me yet and I have no idea where he's at. And just like magic, he texts me back :) I think I might just go to Pride today. If I go I'll make sure to post another blog about it, assuming it's blogworthy...